Monday Night Football - 2025 Fantasy Preview - Week 8
A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will WILL BE HELD HOSTAGE IN AN ARCADE WITH ONLY A ROLL OF NICKLES - THE GAMES TAKE QUARTERS AND YOU DONT HAVE THE SALES/SOCIAL SKILLS TO NEGOTIATE A TRADE WITH THE OTHER KIDS IN THIS PARTICULAR SCENARIO
Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight
For the first time all season, we head into MNF without a single close matchup. This must have been what watching MNF was like before fantasy - just raw dogging it for the love of the game, every week - Jon Gruden style. The only thing still to be determined is biggest blowout - of which 5 teams are currently still in the hunt. So we are going to do things a bit differently this week - and set the stage for week 8’s YOO HOO BIG SUMMER BLOWOUT. IT’S TIME FOR THIS WEEK’S MNFP.
Games
(3–4) Washington Commander @ (4–3) Kansas City Chiefs
- 8:15 PM ET / 5:15 PM PT
- Line: KC –1
Matchups
✅ 100% – 25.31 points: Hot Gibby’s French Fries (6–1) vs Milk Men (4–3)
It was a barista’s wet dream for AQ, frothing our league’s resident milk man into a silky, salty solution. CMC finally ran out of batteries, going <21 pts for the FIRST TIME THIS YEAR. Embarrassingly though for Alex, he did not do quite enough to be in contention for this week’s biggest blowout - and will therefore by excluded in this edition’s special insert. Look for Q to encounter mild difficulty navigating the Luxembourg timezone as it pertains to setting his TNF lineup as his quest to run the table continues next week vs the tyrant from trans-siberia, Dan.
The following 5 matchups would require a Christmas miracle to flip. However, one of these naughty teams will be receiving a biggest blowout team rename in addition to their big bag of coal. In the upcoming section - I will describe the game script that needs to happen for these sad, sad managers to continue being able to look their children in the eyes, and avoid becoming this week’s biggest blowout matchup.
99% – 62.95 points: YOU WILL NEVER SEE HEAVEN (4–3) vs James (4–3)
The odds on favorite for a rename, James sits down 100+ with a healthy 37pts total and will need the Mahomes / Ertz / Scary Terry trio to score >50 collectively. Maybe next time don’t start a -10 pt scoring defense? 🤷🏻♂️ This is known as the SHOOTOUT SCENARIO
99% – 55.15 points: My Chuba got Hubba’d (1–6) vs Oof ouchie my dignity (3–4)
3 blowouts in 5 weeks was quite enough for Matt #3 as BoJax Nix EXPLODED against Diego. Fortunately for ouchie my dignity, his defense only went for -4 this week. It’s going to be Kelce and Jacory Croskey-Merritt taking the gridiron to defend Diego’s honor tonight. This is known as the TORONTO SWIFTIE SCENARIO
99% – 44.91 points: Not NOT in the Epstein Files (1–6) vs Blazed Balls (3–4)
You are reading this correctly - its the other biggest blow brother now dishing out a beating to blazed balls. If Matt Gay (out tonight) and the KC D can go for 30+, Hy’s name may be in Sky’s hands. Galaxy IQ move by Hy to trade away Pickens for 3.2 pt scoring + injured + browns player, Judkins. This is known as the GAY D PARADOX
99% – 43.96 points: Robotripping Gardener (4–3) vs GADSDEN Godsend (4–3)
Scott will need Xavier Worthy + Harrison “marriage is between a man and woman” Butker to climb out of the current 65 pt hole he currently sits in. Look for Scott to bounce back from his mega bye week strategy (entire bench summed for 0 pts this week). WORTHY TO WED SCENARIO
99% – 40.10 points: Half Broccked (4–3) vs Mulch Is NOT Yummy (4–3)
Also down 65, Matt #2 is relying on Rashee “did nothing wrong” Rice and Isiah Pacheco to save some face against Keith and his Half Brocked team. HIGH SPEED CHASE SCENARIO. If you’ve read this far… damn you really will read anything. Comment which scenario you think is least likely to happen in chat. It’s time for some football.