Monday Night Football - 2025 Fantasy Preview - Week 6

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will HAVE THEIR ACCESS TO DOORDASH FROZEN FOR 2 DAYS

Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight

With 4 of 6 matchups projected to finish within 10 points, tonight’s double header has something for everyone (except for the two teams currently getting blown out). You may have already thrown in the towel on this season, and fantasy pros may have already counted you out (already has 4 teams with a <1% chance at claiming the championship this year) but do not despair - for I was visited by an angel last night - who warned of 3 SERIOUS INJURIES to KEY PLAYERS TONIGHT. I pressed for more detail, slobbering for potential alpha - but all she could say was that “they are definitely all going to be on the bears” and “your ex was totally wrong for leaving you”. Finally, she encouraged me to triple leveraged short the mag 10 over the next 2-3 months. Interpret it how you will 🤷 - but for now, IT’S TIME FOR THE MNFP. Disclaimer: I am not a fiduciary - in fact, I have the opposite of the duty of care in mind for you.

Games

(4–1) Buffalo Bills @ (2–2) Atlanta Falcons

• 7:15 PM ET / 4:15 PM PT
• Line: BUF –4.5, O/U 49.5

(2–2) Chicago Bears @ (3–2) Washington Commanders

• 8:15 PM ET / 5:15 PM PT
• Line: WSH –4.5, O/U 49.5

Matchups

96% – 43.77 points: Half Broccked (3–2) vs forgive me father (1–4)

The battle for most times on the receiving end of the biggest blowout remains TIGHT as Matt #3 is projected to receive his 3rd in 4 weeks, and pull even with Sky as a 3x recipient of the league’s greatest dishonor. That being said - Matt is technically leading this matchup, and only needs Rome Odunze, Bijan Robinson, and James Cook to essentially not score at all (see above the divine injury prophesy 👀) to lock up the W. Thank you to the hard working folks at Yahoo for crunching the numbers and determining that there is an apparent 4% likelihood of this happening (I assume they are anticipating a natural disaster).

98% – 35.49 points: Whole Latte TDS (2–3) vs Blazed Balls (2–3)

Hy raced out to a strong start powered by the dream threesome of Maye, Pickens, & Chase (80+ pts) but forgot to start anyone else willing to score more than 4 pts. Reminiscent of how the AI hyperscalars effectively account for 90% of market growth this past year. Scott wasted no timing popping the Blazed Balls Bubble and still has Drake “Saying you’re a lesbian, girl me too” London to run up the score tonight. After 5 straight weeks of 14+ pts and a breakout 33+ in week 6 - this also likely marks the hard launch of Cam Skattebo as bonifide fantasy starter - provided he doesnt headbutt himself into a CTE scenario during practice.

64% – 9.13 points: Robotripping Gardener (3–2) vs YOU WILL NEVER SEE HEAVEN (3–2)

In an eerily equal brother bash - both sides have a QB and WR remaining going into tonight. On the side of YOU WILL NEVER SEE HEAVEN - its Jayden Daniels + DJ Moore, taking on Josh Allen + Deebo “Questionable” Samuel. If Deebo is unable to play, Patrick will look to Luke “Younger Brother” McCaffrey to step up in a deeply perverted poetic ploy. Dan will need to close a 3 pt gap to move to the devil’s lettuce record: 4-2-0. Patrick continues to urge Jaylen Waddle not to attend player only meetings - in hopes that they make a move to a more generous backup QB… Zach Wilson smdh.

82% – 7.98 points: James (3–2) vs Hot Gibby’s French Fries (5–0)

We have yet to see Alex this close to death heading into Monday night in 2025. No players left - up 9, with big ole ZACH ERTZ + MATT PRATER on the other side of the ball. Prater has nearly covered this gap on his own over the last 5 weeks, which is substantially more than can be said for Ertz. Coming off a 1 target for 1 drop gooseegg of a week 5, starting him was certainly a choice. Does Jam know something we don’t? Does he feel any remorse for profiteering off the misery of the city of Detroit with his gaudy start of Mr. Kermit Mahomes? Regardless of his answers - tune in tonight to see if league’s final titan will fall… and in so doing continue to retain sole possession of first place.

60% – 3.11 points: Oof ouchie my dignity (2–3) vs Will _ For Better Team (1–4)

After 30 minutes of attempting rewrites to my Matt Gay + Jacory Croskey matchup intro joke, ive been advised by my legal council that they have made the decision to drop me as a client. Their loss though, since I WAS NEVER SERIOUSLY GOING TO ACTUALLY SEND IT - people can be so sensitive these days, just like how both Diego & Skylar’s teams are extremely sensitive to the other team scoring any sort of points at all. Diego leads this one by 9, with 30 pt week 5 Jacory Croskey-Merritt primed to do it again. Sky will need an explosion of résistance from the staunch Washington D and the sure footed Matt Gay to offset Jacory + close the lead gap + pay reparations for having 3 QBs + 3 TEs on the active roster.

52% – 0.61 points: Milk Men (3–2) vs Mulch Is NOT Yummy (2–3)

In tonight’s CLOSEST MATCHUP OF THE EVENING, its the Milk Men of Austin, Texas vs the Mulch is NOT YUMMY of Auckland, New Zealand. Fortunately for our malnourished and underpaid interns - the math of this one is pretty simple. Matt #2 needs D’Andre Swift “as a coursing river” to score a clean 12.77 pts for the victory. A feat he has managed in exactly 50% of this starts this year. Will Matt be punished for starting the -2 pt scoring Dallas D? Will Nick carry out a full 3-4 party dialog with himself as each of the characters in the group chat tonight? Both are equally likely, but there is only one thing for certain… IT’S TIME FOR MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

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