Monday Night Football - 2025 Fantasy Preview - Week 10

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will HAVE TO EAT A W WHEN YOU AREN’T REALLY IN THE MOOD

Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight

The government shutdown is finally over but unfortunately, the mandate to do their job didn’t come in time to prevent a few sorry teams from locking up an L before tonight’s MNF clash of titans. 3 matchups have already been called, Keith has already prostrated himself at the foot of Hot Gibby, and broken airline infrastructure has left me naked and afraid in ORD this morning. There is a silver lining though - and that is the insider knowledge I have that Dunkin Donuts is about to have a monster Q4 (after my long john order). That’s called manifesting a creme filled evening. It’s time for the MNFP

Games

Philadelphia Eagles (6–2) @ Green Bay Packers (5–2–1)
5:15 PM PT / 5:15 PM ET on ABC
Line: Packers –1.5

Matchups

✅ 100% – 60.34 pts: Hot Gibby’s French Fries (7–2) vs Insert name here (6–3)

Alex’s RB1 & RB2 went for for 90. His TE and Def went for 50. That would have been more than enough for the victory - but Alex was in the mood to make a statement, so he added another 40pts from his WR2 and QB. But it was what he did next that really underscores his perverted soul. With the all time scoring record (195 - his own record from 2 weeks ago) within grasp, he edged the league by trotting out a meager 7 pt performance across his WR1/Flex/K trio. He had the league leaving their family tables, stepping out away from their grandparents hospital beds, to see if he would do it - and he friggin MOVED! Leaving the league with balls like violet beauregarde, we will all have to wait another week to see what his squad can really do. We found Keith in a snowbank this morning, and declined comment / seemed to also decline moving.

✅ 100% – 17.03 pts: Not NOT in the Epstein Files (2–7) vs Detroit Tropics 11th PLACE! (3–6)

Has anyone ever noticed how many white guys Skylar has on his team? Suspicous AF. Anyway, the one shining light of this island boi team got concussed yesterday en route to señor loadenstein style stomping of the soon to be 12th place tropics of DETROIT. Matt #5 is diverting all possible good karma into the Lions and Wolverines and is effectively a karmic lightning rod this year. At least his WR1 is on bye next week 🤷🏻‍♂️ A playoff run for either of these teams feels about as likely as I was to play any words over a third grade reading level in scrabble last night (hint: it didn’t happen).

89% – 14.03 pts: 🥝 lol i luv kiwi 🥝 (4–5) vs Oof ouchie my dignity (3–6)

The original Matt #2 stays hitting the haka dance in parliament as he exploited Diego’s momentary lapse in attention from getting married to run out to a 17 pt lead heading into MNF. Diego needs Luke Musgrave (you can’t convince me this isn’t a country singer) & Christian Watson to close the gap + whatever Dallas Goedert (you can’t convince me this isn’t a country singer) can muster. The fun fact about this matchup - is that these are the two least engaged managers by move volume. That being said - the less you tinker, the less you stinker 🤔

✅ 100% – 7.53 pts: Jonathon (4–5) vs GADSDEN Godsend (5–4)

Two mostly optimal lineups played each other tough. In the end, this loss can be handed most directly to team named TE Gadsen and old fellow Matt Prater. Fun fact, Prater has not made a FG in 3 of his last 4 starts. Scott playing 18-dimensional Parcheesi with that start. This result will move both these squads to the infamous 5-5 spot - in contention enough to get their hopes up, not very good or reliable, and therefore almost certainly setting up for disappointment down the home stretch. Silver lining, they are under no obligation to waste their Monday night anymore.

63% – 8.70 pts: YOU WILL NEVER SEE HEAVEN (6–3) vs Milk Men (5–4)

Dan playing a curious OOPS! ALL PACKERS loadout this week, and Nick doing something of the same with the Birds of Kensington. Nick holds a narrow 4 pt lead with Jalen & DeVonta hoping they can hold off Jordan Love + Romeo Doubs + Josh Jacobs. With real feel expected to dip into the low teens tonight in Lambeau, we could be in for a chilly willy barn burner in this matchup. Despite the potential to fall to 5-5, Nick is still drippy in plot armor with a ~100 pt lead in points for. He may start to gather support from some fringe playoff teams if he continues to fall in the standings while trending towards swallowing up the pts for playoff qualification. The league will quick to red card any unfair collusion, unlike the deafening silence during the massive wealth transfer from the middle class to the billionaire class that happened with Alex’s recent trades / the covid stimulus package.

62% – 5.86 pts: Blazed Balls (3–6) vs Robotripping Gardener (6–3)

IT’S THE OOOO - 🎵i like it when you do it like that🫚 Ed Sheeran insta classic of the week - as Hy leads Robo by 11 heading into tonight’s tilt. It will be solely up to Saquan to outscore AJ “moody boi” Brown enough to close the gap. This very scenario happened 3 of the first 7 weeks of the season so it is anyone’s game. If Hy is to complete the most improbable championship run, he needs to win NOW. If Patrick is to avoid yet another week of melancholy, he needs a dub, a week of clean eating, good sleep and a HEALTHY dose of therapy. All that to say - these two teams’ records combined currently form a palindrome - and that isn’t likely to change after tonight. Text your Mom, it’s time for MNF.

Buy me a coffee if you think we don’t actually need air traffic control 😎