Monday Night Football - 2023 Fantasy Preview - Week 8

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will BE POPPED, LOCKED, AND DROPPED

Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight

It’s week 8, and if you have any sort of incentive for things going poorly for the Lions tonight - you can go right on ahead and get ——. It has been a good week - relative civility in the chat (for the first week in league history), all matchups withing ~20 points, and an evening of the playing field that features the potential for the gap between the 1% and the league’s most lowly, to close. We are close to how things used to be in the mid 20th century - when the post WWII economic boom, tax policies, and labor unions all came together to make it so Joe blow and friggin Howard Hughes could both drive a Porsche 911. Hy and Nick are Howard Hughes and J. Paul Getty in this metaphor, and Skylar and Keith are arbitrary factor worker, and nameless coal miner economy widget 1. Sit on down, spend a few moments of self reflection if you happened to pressure the writer today, who was forced to take a break from the picket line to serve your Wall-E human actin ass, and enjoy this weeks MNFP.

Games

(3-4) Las Vegas Raiders @ (5-2) Detroit Lions

• 8:15 PM EST
• Line: DET -7.0

Matchups

93% - 21.35 pts: Fantasizing in mom’s basement (5-2) v Nathan 4 moo (3-4)

Nate down 30 + whatever Riley Patterson can kick, with Josh Jacobs on deck. This one might be a long shot for the league’s current “outside of playoff contention record but otherwise highest scorer” candidate (though the gap between him and Jam in 5th place is nearly none after this week). Jacobs scored 28 once before, in week 4 vs the chargers - but he will need Aiden “michigan did nothing wrong, im pretty sure” Huchinson to fall asleep on the end to have a chance tonight. If Diego holds on, he will further solidify his presence around the top of the standings, likely sitting 1 game out of first, and within 50 pts scored of the league leader - in this weeks OK SHAWTAY THATS HOW MANS ARE MOVIN!? biggest blowout of the week. Nate can rest easy knowing his badgers gave it the honest college try against the buckeyes this past saturday - there was only one thing they were missing…

84% - 15.42 pts: Quad Squad (5-2) v The bottom is priced in (3-4)

Nick holds a .1 pt lead over Dan and also has Davante Adams stil to take the field. Yahoo really went deep into their bag to crunch the odds on this one, and reckons there is a 16% change Adams goes negative. We reviewed all his games since 2014 and found that while he has never gone negative, he has scored <1 pt on a number of occasions. If this were to happen tonight - Nick would likely require some of the rare earth medicines currently coursing through aaron rodgers Achilles at this very moment to reclaim his sanity. Fortunately, the bottom continues to be priced in for Dan, as he is still projected to finish in 4th overall by season’s end. Sounds like someone at Yahoo knows something we don’t - and is willing to risk it all on the renegade manager with a league low 4 moves to date.

95% - 14.48 pts: By Chubb’s Grace (3-4) v 10000 bad guys with swords (7-0)

It’s a 24 pt lead for Matt, and Sam LaPorta is going to need to bring it all the way back tonight for 10000 bad guys with swords to have a chance at the big upset. The rookie has dropped weeks of 19 and 18 so far, but has yet to breach the 20 point threshold this year. The only 3 to do that this season are Kelce Kittle and Kmet - extremely unfortunate set if last initials but lets see if we can’t draw out an extremely fortunate outcome for Patrick and most importantly - the broader city and momentum of the motor city itself. YES it truly is DETROIT VS EVERYONE and tonight, Chubb’s grace is out there representing a jenner with a pepsi can. Please Sam, im no dua lipa but let’s get physical tonight.

68% - 9.19 pts: Connor stallions fan club (6-1) v NCAA Investigative Committee (2-5)

In our first of 3 TIGHT matchups - weve got Hy with a monster 60pt lead over Alex and the NCAA Investigative Committee BUT WAIT - LUUUUUUUCY, YOUVE GOT SOME SPLAININ TO DOOOO. Alex still has the detroit D, the detroit QB, and the detroit RB all still to see if they cant bring this one close to a climax the likes of which this league has never seen. We are talking volcano daddy helped me but im still going to regionals middle school science fair type stuff on this eruption that Q is hoping for tonight in the motor city. Talk about putting your money where your fandom is. The difference between this bet, and the countless others Alex has placed in various accredited places of blackjack in the D? THIS BET IS WEARING COOL HELMETS.

59% - 3.67 pts: Bow to Queen Stella (2-5) v Baby Toy (1-6)

Amon Ra has cleared the injury report, and Scott needs him to drop 13.4 to knock off Skylar “Try to take Fischer price to class action, and they will disappear you” Baby Toy. The sun god has done that in all but 1 of the games hes started this season, but just barely - look for skylar to come into the chat with a late zinger type comment in the 4th quarter when Scott finally takes the lead here. Yahoo is also informing me that the game tonight will be played indoors - at least someone is getting dome tonight 🤷

56% - 1.73 pts: Cabussin (1-6) v Molly (4-3)

WELL WASHERBOARD MY PELVIS AND CALL ME PAPI FRESCO ITS TONIGHT’S “closer than I ever was to my father” NAILBITER of the week. Keith holds a 13.4 pt lead, THE SAME AS SKYLAR HOLDS OVER SCOTT IF YOU WERE PAYING ATTENTION, and Jam is trotting out Obi Wan Jakobi “GEEEEEEEEEET YOUR PRODUCE HERE” Meijers. Meyers has hauled in a TD in each of his last 3 outings, and will look to do the same tonight. Of course, I cannot fathom someone scoring on detroit at home - especially after all that the city has been through. If Jam is able to pull this out, it’s entirely possible that he is ousted from the group for bad faith and for holding the boot on a people trying to rise up from the ashes - LFG LIONS