Monday Night Football - 2023 Fantasy Preview - Week 6

October 16, 2023

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will BE SUBJECT TO AN EAGLE EYE TYPE SITUATION WHERE AN AI MODIFIES ALL THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS ON YOUR MORNING COMMUTE TO REMAIN RED FOR 40% LONGER THAN NORMAL

Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight

This is what life is supposedly all about, as we’ve reached 42% of the way through the fantasy regular season. The distribution of records is starting to look more normal, even if the retorts in the chat ARE NOT. This week featured another Lions win, which is critical to cling to if your fantasy team isn’t providing the dopamine of years past. Heading into tonight’s rumble in LA, 3 matchups still sit in the proverbial tax collector’s balance. All of which, feature teams currently jostling for position in the middle of the pack. Tune in tonight to see who will transcend - or if your team will blend. It’s the MNFP!


(3-2) Dallas Coyboys @ (3-2) Los Angeles Chargers

  • 8:15 PM EST
  • Line: DAL -1.5


✅ - 50.47 pts: Butt to Cock (5-0) v nate’s Unmatched Team (2-3)

With a 34 pt lead, and leading wideout Keenen Allen still to take the field - we are stopping the count on this one in this week’s PLZ SIR, CAN I HAVE ANOTHER - MERCILESS ACT of the week sponsored by BREAK ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT - tasty treat. That will make Hy the blower outer of the week a disgusting 3 out of 6 weeks so far. With Nick heading to 4-2, Hy has solidified his spot as the league’s big stack bully. His average points 6 weeks in - sitting at a staggering 146ppg all while enjoying the least ppg scored against him by a wide margin. He has done all of this with Achane sitting on the IR, soon to return. On the other side of the house, nate’s unmatched team simply ran out of star power, getting under performances from his last ditch effort to replace James Connor with Emari “embarcadero” Demercado, and Jake “2 extra points and a missed FG” Elliott. Butt to cock will point his death beam next towards his the streaking T-3 Diego, while Nate will look to recover his swagger vs Jam “TE on bye, and no one on the bench to replace him” Yonts.

✅ - 24.67 pts: Not your daddy’s duplos (5-0) v Winless and chinless (0-5)

In a similar camp to above - Not your daddy’s duplos holds a 15 pt advantage in this one, with Brandon Aubrey still to put his golden toe to the supple pig hide tonight. This win leaves Keith looking for answers at the bottom of the league barrel - most glaring problem positions being QB and his WR2/Flex, receiving a league worst 13 pts across the 3 of them. What can Keith do to keep the dying flame of optimism alive? He could pick up a number of RB2s and go Tonya Harding? He could abstain from redzone and spend more time with his wife and child? Or he could do what we all do, and hit this upcoming waiver wire like a hungry man on a christmas ham - and drop a Faab dump, the likes of which we haven’t seen since friggin Bart Star’s rookie year. Patrick soldiers on to 6-0, light work - it’s becoming too easy, hes essentially solved day trading, but CHOOSES not to exploit it for his own financial gain because he CARES ABOUT THE ECONOMY AND ITS IMPACT ON THE WORKING CLASS. Duplo daddy will look to further silence the lowly next week vs Sky Baby Toy.

✅ - 22.65 pts: Fantasizing in mom’s basement (3-2) v Quad Squad (4-1)

It’s a 14 pt lead for Diego with the Dallas D still to expand and contract into tonight’s sword fight with the chargers. THAT’S ENOUGH FOR ME TO CALL THIS CASE CLOSED YOUR HONOR. Diego is once again on the move to the top of the standings, capitalizing on a few key injuries on the quad squad side of the house to knock off one of our league’s top incumbents. He has done all of this while making almost no changes to his team with 100% of his faab remaining and only 2 moves in total - the only manager to make less is 1-4 Dan with only 1 move and 100% faab also remaining. Nick will head to an interesting matchup with Alex next week which features two of the chats leading posters. Meta is already doubling down on servers in anticipation of the expected motherload of traffic. With Quad likely taking an L here - that could open up a 3 way tie for third at 4-2 with Diego and Jam (if he is able to hold on vs Scott), with Hy and Patrick 2 games up. Virtual playoff spots being filled by the above and Nate as the leading scorer otherwise.

83% - 13.89 pts: Molly (3-2) v Bow to Queen Stella (2-3)

Jam has hammered his clock and now it is Scott’s turn to move his pollard to E4 and hope that he can go for 32 to flip the odds. Tony has done this before and our underpaid and extremely aggressive archivist was able to find - 2 games last year where Pollard did what is required tonight. The bad news, is that since week 1, the dallas rb has been slowly declining in fantasy production every week. From 23 to 19 to 17 to 9 to 7 to … 32? DO YOU BELIEEEEEEVE IN LIFE AFTER BAD? If you find #20 hole punching into the endzone early and often, start to pay attention here. If the wet from saturday, Molly Jam can hold on here, he could very well squish and squash his way into a tie for 3rd overall in the standings at 4-2 with an even firmer resolve to continue sinking precious life resources into the shield.

63% - 8.22 pts: tushy pushy (2-3) v Go lions (2-3)

In tonight’s closest projected matchup of the week - there are still points to be scored on both sides of the aisle. Matt wears short skirts (justin herbert and ceedee lambs), Alex wears flip flops (austin ekeler). They are both cheer captains of their respective teams and will both very much be on the bleachers cheering for POINTS. Alex currently holds a 12 pt advantage in this battle of the 2-3s, and it’s difficult to predict the shape Austin “daddy HEYYYYY care” Eckler will be coming back in, as he takes the field for the first time since week 1. Tune in to find out whose tush will be pushed into the fire tonight on QVC!

85% - 8.21 pts: The bottom is priced in (1-4) v Baby Toy (1-4)

The bottom is priced in, and the overwhelming psychological toll that writing this MNFP every morning takes on my family most certainly is AS WELL as we are approaching 75 minutes invested at the writing desk and only a few muted exhales through the nose to show for it but guess what!? IT DOESNT MATTER because the MNFP a reputable media cornerstone on the press Mt Olympus, having been inked without a singular interruption for the last 6.5 decades and this is the MATCHUP OF THE WEEK. League darkhorse DAN holds a 16 pt advantage over Skylar “mulch diggums” who still has Michael Gallup to trot out onto the pitch. Michael is riding HIGH AND DRY after a 2 catch, 2.5 pt affair last week vs the 49ers - but several disreputable and downright journalisticly offensive reports said he woke up this morning feeling “fine” and “a helluva lot more financially secure and strong and attractive than you” and OH! did that really cut deep into our field correspondent who is HANGING ON BY A THREAD confidence wise. GATHER ROUND, pinch your baby’s rosy cheeks if you have one, and find one to do so if you don’t, because it’s time for MONNNNNNNDAY NIGHT FOOOOOOOTBALL!