Monday Night Football - 2023 Fantasy Preview - Week 10
A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will BE FORCED TO STAY AT THEIR CLOSEST BC PIZZA UNTIL THEY BEAT THAT ONE GALAGA HIGH SCORE SET IN 2002 by ASS
Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight
Well don a bonnet and call me Jehoshaphat, this little ball of fire and ice done took another 7 turns round and it’s once again - my day off. Given that, you might call it the Lord’s day off - the way I be I shovin serfs up and down the produce aisle. It’s week 10, and my hen just laid another golden egg - unfortunately for some of yall heathens, you might have just received the kiss of death. This week featured 5 teams tied for 5th at 4-5 and was CRUCIAL in sorting out who is saucy - and who is frothy. Time is tighter than my wasteband on the fourth of JULY so let’s get right on into it. It’s your MNFP
Games
(3-5) Denver Broncos @ (5-4) Buffalo Bills
- 1:15 AM GMT
- Line: BUF -7.0
Matchups
99% - 52.69 pts: By Chubb’s Grace (4-5) v Molly (4-5)
There, but by the grace of chubb, go I. Molly just got a proper whoppin’ as Matt ran off on the plug thrice behind 25+ from herbert, ceedee, and mike evans en route to a Bazooka bubble trouble CHERRY POPPIN. Stay tuned to see if Molly can summen to sleeping demons within Tyler B”adonky donky”ASS and the buffalo D to avoid being the biggest blowout and potentially save some face from a humbling rename. Matt’s 171 points are the third most this year, and nearly 22 short of this leagues all time high back in 2019 when Matt dropped 193.60 on Cassie - before the era of hyper inflated scoring. TELL THAT BOI TO EASE UP!
99% - 47.18 pts: BIG Problem (4-5) v Fantasizing in mom’s basement (6-3)
In the closest contender for this week’s HONEY, DON’T WAIT UP - WE JUST HIT AN EMERALD VEIN, IM DRIPPING YOU DOWN IN MINK THIS CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL biggest windfall of the week sponsored by Celebrity fur trappers R Us - Dan is hoping James Cook fumbles the bag and allows him to hit Diego with a silly name change. Powered by a 41 point DakAttack - Dan looks primed to keep this momenetum going into his clash with Alex next week. Note, dan and matt both make significant strides towards Nate’s most points of non playoff contention lead.
✅ - 38.15 pts: Robotripping Gardener (7-2) v The denver swap was good deal (6-3)
This one is all wrapped up like present skin. Patrick was able to exploit the bye of Jalen Hurts, both Miami RBs, and big bad Leonard Fournette (0 pts on year) to put slumbering Hy into his bassenet, where he was able to enjoy Keenan Allen go for 40, without having any sort of false hope for a win last night. Hy will look to take out his rage next week against Scott - powered by the streaking stroud, and the bench bandicoot broked thumb king Justin Fields
✅ - 18.41 pts: Go lions (4-5) v Nathan 4 moo x2 (3-6)
WARNING - RARE ALEX WIN LOADING. This one is OVER in the clash of dripped out technology brothers Alex, representing Amazon vs Nate repping Gusto. It was a major bye week for the both of them - look for Nate to bounce back next week as Tua, AJ Brown, Higbee, and Miami D all return. As for Alex, he has politely thrown his hat into the ring to be considered for a playoff spot, and he now looks poised to rise to a 3 way tie for 5th place (up from a 5 way tie for 5th place).
86% - 18.01 pts: Quad Squad (7-2) v I THINK I GOT MY SWAGGER BACK (4-5)
FINALLY WEVE GOT SOMETHING TO PLAY FOR - its a 7 pt lead for the QUAD SQUAD, with Josh Allen still to do his new dance - vs Scott’s Javonte Williams. Williams is coming off of his season high two weeks ago, where he went for nearly 20 pts - if Allen bombs like he did in week 1 or week 6, this one could get VERY TIGHT. All the dogs are barking for team Scott in this one, as he looks to upset our leagues undisputed #1 - who is likely currently viscerally shaking, unable to read this MNFP on his flight home.
70% - 8.94 pts: Collusion buster (3-6) v Baby Toy (2-7)
IT’S REALLY THAT SIMPLE - Keith needs Diggs to go for 9 pts (a feat he has done in every game so far this year), and he would plunge a dagger into Skylar’s heart and possibly playoff dreams. At time of writing though, Diggs has zero points to show for 2.5 minutes of game time. If that math holds, ITS BABY TIME. Looks to be another frustrating season loading for Skylar - though you wouldn’t know it - as his potent cocktail of uppers around the umich football record and downers around the scandals have mixed him into a state of demented euphoria, oozing across the tweetosphere. ITS MNF - let’s do some drills