Monday Night Football - Fantasy Preview - Week 11

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will HAVE THEIR LOVED ONES INCEPTED INTO BELIEVING YOUR NAME IS RANDY

Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight

Pitbull said it best: “In any country when you throw something in somebody’s face, it’s disrespectful.” There was a lot of disrepect shown this week - both in the DMs and on the gridiron. But it’s Mexico City week, and a few of the lowliest, hunchbacked, and disrespected have a chance for redemption in the city of palaces. This week solidified a league bully, saw kirk thuggins’ fall from grace, and provided another opportunity for the scrooges of the league - to continue to hoard their FAAB fortunes. Tensions are high as playoffs loom (3 more weeks aafter tonight) - and the inexorable march of time offers fewer and fewer wise opportunities for redemption. ITS TIME FOR THE MNFP!

Games

(5-4) San Francisco 49ers vs (4-6) Arizona Cardinals in MEXICO CITY, Estadio Azteca

• 8:15 PM EST
• Line: SF -8

Matchups

✅ - 42.14 pts: Do the pollard waddle (9-1) v Bo Yo? No. Bo Bad! (3-7)

Scott is Cruella Deville and Skylar is a bushel of puppies - idk, haven’t seen the movie. But sheeeesh - Skylar must feel middle child levels of inadequacy after putting together the leagues potentially second highest scoring roster, but catching yet another L to the überteufel. To make matters worse - thats going to be Skylar’s second received “OHHHHHH YEA THATS GOOD - Burlap Bandicoot Ida Potato BIGGEST SACK OF THE WEEK” in three weeks. His name plate is changing more than PDiddy as Scott records his 4th biggest blowout - this time without his top 2 receivers?!!? LUUUUCY - YOU GOT SOME SPLAININ TO DOOOOOO! That makes 6 losses in a row for Sky. Scott locked up his playoff birth before you were born, brother.

99% - 23.92 pts: Robotripping Gardener (5-5) v FUCK IT UP KENNETH (8-2)

Syndrome made slight work of Gazerbeam in this one - as the esteemed steamliner captain and technocrat Robotripping Gardener currently holds a 14 pt lead over Alex with Aiyuk still to ransack Alex’s innermost calm in Mexico City. Kenneth’s over leveraged bengals strategy finally faltered and Joe Burrow held up his end of the bargain - but the TDs passed over Mixon and Boyd like the holy spirit over a jewish doorway, marked by lambs blood. Look for Patrick to handle his new kicker controversy behind closed doors between Butker and Brett “money booter” Maher after his breakout 3 50+yd FG performance. Alex’s losing streak BALLOONS to 2 after this one AND HES PLUMB OUT OF FAAB 😳😳😳

97% - 32.59 pts: Club PED (8-2) v I Like Diggin Holes (5-5)

The darkhorse, for league’s most uncouth - Hy ran off on the plug twice in this one. Heading into MNF with a 40 pt lead and a couple glocks still in his rari. Matt will need his QB and K to make up the gap, and cover the additional points from Hopkins and Arizona TE Trey McBride. The angry baby Kyler Slurry may not be good to go, which would force Matt to dip into his bag and pull out Jimmy “Clooney” G to help in the effort - 0 20+ starts on the year, and just the man for the job. Hy will likely move on to 9-2, which should lock up a playoff birth. Matt put his money where his mouth was, and went to watch his golden boy Diggs in person. As thank you, Stephon dropped one of his worst games of the season (though it still included a TD). Matt is just out here doing what he said he would do - and digging himself into a playoff push hole.

91% - 15.3 pts: BBQ (YUM) (5-5) v SMH (3-7)

It’s BIGGER - IT’S BADDER - It’s once again keith needing a sinister effort from James Conner to come back from 28 down in this one and push Nick to the brink. James Connor did, however, come alive last week for 22 pts - so Yahoo gives Keith around a generous 9% chance. Keith once again suffered from not a lot of good players on his team, and general lack of inflamation of his total points. A reinjury to Mike Williams after a few games off certainly was not “a vibe” if you are the SMH manager. Nick - on the other hand - rode Davante Adams’ absolute tear of a last few games yet again out to his lead. 83 pts in the last 3 games, 5 TDs, and 44 targets. Derick Carr is starting to understand the assignment.

73% - 5.7 pts: Fantasizing in mom’s basement (4-6) v We’re going streaking (5-5)

Dan, down 16, only Kittle remains. With HUGE playoff implications - the world cup level streaker hopes George to come alive down under - and do something hes only done once before - this season. Diego is riding a meteoric 3 game win streak and wants this BAD. I’m talking - he’d kill, he’d stab, he’d even not look you in the eye. If things do go poorly for the basement fantasizer, he really has Clyde “the slide” Edwards to blame - who has now scored 3.3 pts in his last 3 starts combined. If any streaking goes on south of the border - I’ve got 3 abuelas on stand bye - praying the rosary on your behalf.

52% - 0.94 pts: JY (4-6) v Doja Cat’s Dojo Mat (1-9)

IN TONIGHT’S MAIN EVENT - Matt #2 is playing spoilermaker and is currently sitting down 19 with Christian McCaffrey and the staunch SF department of Defense remaining. Jam has opted to give Deebo another shot on the other side of the aisle. This projected margin of victory is PAPER THIN and could go either way. If jam loses - every angel in Boston loses their wings. Jam will make sure of it. On the other side of the coin, Matt has pledged his life’s earnings to philanthropic and environmentally conscious endeavours - regardless of outcome. Fun fact - Jam’s leading scorer is his kicker - and Matt’s bench scored .6 pts this week! Play ball