Monday Night Football - Fantasy Preview - Week 6

October 17, 2021

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will be saddled with the TAX LIABILITY OF AN NFT OF THEIR DOG EATING THEIR HOMEWORK AUCTIONED AT THE DETROIT MOMA

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The employee shortage is hitting every industry and recreational erotic fantasy football e-blogs are no exception. Without the aid of our typical host of unpaid interns, our league passed through the last month like a listing humpy dory without a bilge, yearning for the MNFP. Addict bloodshot eyes scraping the message board for some morsel of content, many simply forgot that there was a game on Monday nights, and a few even lost their very notion of self. It looks as though the flock has distributed themselves precariously around the rocky canyon, poised to jump across the chasm, but the (sterling) shepard has returned to guide you home. It’s monday night, and I’ll be got damned if I come home to cold soup again, MARTHA!


(4-1) Buffalo Bills @ (3-2) Tennessee Titans

  • 8:15 PM EST
  • Line: Buf -6.0


✅ Matt #2 (2-3) v Matt #1 (2-3) aka “Matt on Matt Ratatat”

An old fashioned rump rattler as Matt #2 saddled up Dak and rode him for 445 yards en route to a 30 pt drubbing of the original cottage Matt. On the other side of the aisle, NFL darling Lamar grabbed a statement win but only racked up season low 13 pts. In tiktok terms, he did the opposite of understanding the assignment. Look for Kramer to ideally not go on a racist tirade at the laugh factory in Chicago, but instead reload next week returning Saquon and Ridley.

99% Alex (0-5) v Skylar (1-4) aka “Getting down to Bass tax”

It is hard to visualize what it might look like if Alex were to win a matchup (because we have no precedent for such an occurrence), but anomalies have been known to happen around the spooky halloween season. Yahoo reckons, this just might be the week for the Goff alliance. The lions already wrapped up their 6 straight loss but Alex currently holds a 33 pt lead over Skylar (a quiet darkhorse for worst team this league has ever seen). Skylar will hope and pray that the team the team the team (devin singletary and the tennessee defense - in direct competition with each other) can outscore Tyler “tiny toes but big” Bass and A.J. Brown by 35 tonight.

99% Hy (2-3) v Dan (4-1) aka “Waddle throttle”

Hy heads into MNF sitting comfortable with a whopping 143 points.. quite a lot for a 2 win team! Everything came together (like the swiss family robinson when they all spot a juicy ostrich) as CeeDee “rom drive” Lamb blusted for 32 and a bootleg cuban link. VAMP, who we have reason to believe is possibly floating out to sea as we squeak, put forth a respectable effort with a 30 pt outing from Cooper Kupp, but will need a historic effort from Cole “anti vax - Jim and Pam” Beasley tonight to make this one interesting. 32 pts should just about do the trick (roughly as much as Cole has scored in the past 5 games combined).

98% Patrick (4-1) v Keith (5-0) aka “Fall of colossus”

The leagues elite (1 and 2) met this past weekend for a routine call on how to further suppress the 97%. The usual ideas were floated: let them foam and froth over the propaganda of the state sponsored trade value chart, let them gorge on streaming tight ends churning in the trade markets etc. But the musings and plottings eventually turned sour, as the mead ran dry and Keith struck first with a 19 point stinger from Tom Brady. This ignited an ongoing class war in which Patrick currently holds a 10 point lead and the friggin arm and the nut of the blue eyes white dragon in his warchest. Keith will need Zack “yes it’s really spelled like that - wait, that’s totally chill, might be a cultural thing, in fact that is actually dope and chill” Moss to outscore Josh “no thigh gap” Allen and Derick “Jaeger - from pacific rim” Henry by 10 to remain the leagues last undefeated team. Keep an eye here for this weeks potential AY CARAMBA, TAQUITO SLAPPER SMACKDOWN OF THE WEEK sponsored by La Taqueria - best burrito in America.

91% Jam (4-1) v Nick (3-2) aka “Source of 85% of facebook’s messenger traffic”

After a slugfest, Jam holds a 12 pt lead, and Nick has the buffalo defense remaining. Yahoo gives James a 91% chance of victory despite Buffalo D averaging 14.2 ppg over the last 5 games. Marissa Mayer, you got some splainin 2 dooooo! The Bills defensive production has been off the charts this season (9 picks, 6 fumbles recovered, 14 sacks, and 100% reason to remember the name) so here is hoping that we can get Jam turned to marmalade by the end of the night.

81% Diego (1-4) v Scott (2-3) aka “I WANT THAT BABY, DIEGO”

In this week’s closest matchup heading into MNF, Diego clings to a 9 pt lead over the best 2-3 team ever lead by Traverse City native and ex bay meadows guy who picks up the balls from the driving range Scott Ringwelski. Scott’s gots Knox - a dawson looking guy who has been a tear the last 3 weeks (4 TDs, 17 ppg), and Diego has Diggs. If the titan defense decides locking up Diggs is a priority early, this one could get very interesting. Is Diego cursed by the fantasy gods? Tune in tonight to find out!

TiL Week 6 Fun Fact