Monday Night Football - Fantasy Preview - Week 8

November 2, 2020

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will HAVE A COMICALLY LARGE HAMMER SMASH THEIR TOE

Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight

Sponsored by Halloween Superstore USA - Remember, it’s totally normal and ok to always wear costumes and hand out candy during any point in the calendar year!


7 slots across 5 matchups remain in tonight’s showdown between the Tompa Bay Cuckaneers and the Goo Spork Clients. Yahoo currently has only a single matchup sitting at less than 98% decided but our calculations tell us that there are really 3 matchups that have a true chance of the favorite being upset. This week in the league saw fairly average scoring with an average team score of ~100 and a single historic performance from Dalvin Cook - reaching the max points this year from a single player at 47.6. 4 of the league’s top 5 will likely see victory this week making the battle for the 6th playoff slots extra important. With the closing trade deadline on Nov 14th, look for deals to be pushed through in the upcoming weeks as teams jockey for playoff position and eternal glory. Tune in tonight to see if anything XXXtra funky happens to your matchup or others, and remember, never accept loose candy in a plastic bag, unless you are in a VERY affluent neighborhood (message paid for by your well intended but slightly ignorant Mom and her surrounding Moms coalition).


(5-2) Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ (1-6) New York Giants

  • 8:15 PM EST
  • Line: TB -12.5


✅ Matt #1 (5-2) v Keith (3-4) aka “Chief Keith - Love Bosa”

This one did not go as planned for Keith and Sorry Ms. Jackson, as he saw only two players go for double figures in this 43 point power thumping courtesy of Matt #1’s gracious offensive onslaught from rising center piece Corey Davis, Chief’s big white guy Travis Kelce and Russ “cool last name and unreal fantasy QB” Wilson. Matt is all but guaranteed to be the deliverer of this week’s BUILT FORD TOUGH - OUCHY OUCHY POWER THRASH of the week ONE WEEK after receiving the very honor himself. Talk about turning tables ~ Keith on the other hand, will suffer his second thrash in 3 weeks as his team appears in need of life support - or at the very least life ALERT.

99% Diego (1-6) v Cam #1 (3-4) aka “Bunglology 101”

In one of the more perplexing and unfortunate series of events of this year, Cam made a sunday morning trade of bye week and promising future RB Chase Edmonds for Aaron Jones week 7 and 8 only stand in Jamaal Williams. This valiant last ditch effort to repair his ailing squad which features 5 injured players (2 on IR, 2 out, 1 COVID-19) was unfortunately bungled as he made the trade and forgot to start Jamaal. He now sits down 11 points, with just the Giants defense left to play, and a 15 point scoring Jamaal Williams on his bench. I would disagree with Yahoo’s 1% win probability here though, as NYGiants D has actually gone for 9 or more points in 3 of 7 starts so far, despite the teams lowly reputation. Remember, they have Jabrill Pepper’s and he can do a backflip. Make sure to check back in on this one after halftime tonight to confirm if Cam is truly the WEAKEST LINK - GOODNIGHT. Also - never trade with Alex, he is biggest threat and supposedly doesn’t like the Beatles.

99% Alex (4-3) vs Dan (3-4) aka “The pride of St John’s vs Gotham’s fallen angel”

In a fairly tight matchup across all positions, Alex opened up a gap on Dan in the RB2 slot with a strong performance from Mixon backup and strong stached Giovanni Bernard’s 21 pt affair and currently sits up 13 points vs Last Chance U (suck) with a bonus TE still to take the field to add insult to injury. Look for Evan Engram to go for negative 13 to make this one interesting tonight. With a lose this week, Dan will fall to 3-5, still clutching his pearls and full $100 FAAB budget tightly to his chest. Will the only single digit # of moves manager open the piggy bank this week to bring on any new assets, or will he take this money to the grave. Tune in Wednesday morning to find out.

99% Nick (5-2) v Hy (5-2) aka “The fat lady has yet to sing but she is literally about to”

In this week’s battle of the league leaders, Nick and Hy have both shown admirable resolve fighting to a 113-92 current score with Nick holding the commanding lead. Scratch that, Nick got extremely lucky with a historic 4TD effort and 47.6 showing from ex robotrippin gardener 2019 centerpiece RB Dalvin Cook who ran WILD against the packers. After the dust settled from Dalvin’s rampage, we head into Monday night, with the question remaining, who will own the TB backfield? Will it be Nick’s Ronald “McDonald - RoJo” Jones or Hy’s Leonard Fournette. Snuckles’ “Nuck if you Bucc” Knuckles is hoping that it will be Leonard and in a big way. Oh, he also needs to overcome the TB defense (a group that has averaged 11.5 ppg over the last 6 games). Ok, maybe the 1% chance does make some sense for this one.

98% Patrick (2-5) vs Matt #2 (4-3) aka “No sKittles this Halloween :/”

In a tight matchup up until the eagles game, Patrick and Matt did battle seeing injuries on both sides from Kittle to Golladay, both marooning strong RB scorers on their bench from Justin Jackson to Phillip Lindsay. In the end, the Philly defense proved to be the difference as they feasted on first start Ben DiNucci collecting 4 sacks, 2 fumbles, and scored one TD on their way to a 20 point outing. The quasimodonic robotrippin gardener’s meteoric rise from zero to De Niro rumbles upwards and onwards as he will look to overcome the odds next week against the other Matt while Matt #2 remains very much in playoff contention sitting at 4-4 heading into a week 9 clash with the physically and mentally depleted Kamarican Dream. Also Matt can still win if Gronk continuously spikes the ball backwards for 5 lost fumbles and negative 10 points tonight.

54% Jam (4-3) vs Scott (3-4) aka “Teach a man to huck a pigskin, he fishes for a lifetime”

MIKE EVANS - 14.7 points - Scott needs it. This one has been neck and neck all week as Jam “the fertile crescent” How can we know his last name, we don’t even know his first - holds a feeble 14.7 pt lead over Waller the Baller heading into tonight’s game. Evans has had a sporadic past resume but has gone for over 12 pts in 4 of 7 contests this far and has a favorable position tonight with other Bucc wideout Chris Godwin out with a booboo finger injury. For two teams jockeying for playoff livlihood, this one is a critical win for either squad. Scott hopes to catch his stride next week as he anxiously eyes the return of Michael “3 pts on the year” Thomas and Aaron “107 pts on the year in 5 games” Jones. Look for Jimmy “Wall Sconce” Yonts to become incrementally more and more perturbed as the night wars on and make sure to give your sons a big fat KISS ON THE LIPS tonight.

TiL Week 8 Fun Facts

  • The Chargers have now blown 16+ point leads in 4 straight games.
  • The Rams outgained the Dolphins 471-145. They had 31 first downs - the Dolphins had 8. The Rams lost.
  • The Jets highest paid player on the field yesterday was Kansas City Chiefs running back, Le’Veon Bell.