Monday Night Football - Fantasy Preview - Playoffs Week 1

December 14, 2020

A weekly newsletter for members of the Harry Koch Memorial Cup Fantasy Football league - all others will have their ASSETS SET IN A SCROOGE MONEY PIT SIZED JELLO MOLD

Koch Safari League Preview Watch Guide for Tonight

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Playoffs are upon us, and dreams have begun to crumble as we saw 3 of 4 matchups already decided this past weekend. Only 3 started players remain to play in tonight’s showdown between the Ravens and Browns.


Monday Night

(7-5) Baltimore Ravens @ (9-3) Cleveland Browns

  • 8:15 PM EST
  • Line: BAL -3


✅ Matt #2 (5-8) v Cam (5-8) aka “Black and Deckeler”

In a true losers bracket shootout, Matt was able to amass a smothering 94 pts and bury Cam and the Kamarican Dream in this toilet bowl audition game. Cam inhaled too many funny balloon animals and decided to sit his stud in Austin Ekeler, a costly 19 pt mistake. This send Cam to the the toilet bowl next week, in a loser take off matchup to see who has the fullfil the loser punishment.

✅ Hy (6-7) v Alex (8-5) aka “Derrick Henry build this in a cave”

Aaaand POP goes Alex’s weasel. Hy played his exact optimal lineup and uncorked 142 pts against Alex. Poop heaf put up a valiant effort with 114 points but it wasn’t enough to stop Hy from ending his 3 game losing streak is resounding fashion - enough to make this whomping this week’s BUILT FORD TOUGH - OUCHY OUCHY POWER THRASH.

✅ Diego (5-8) v Patrick (4-9) aka “Hasta Diego”

In the end, it was ex Robo tripping gardener, Stefon Diggs who made the final catch to give Surley girl a 1 pt victory over the depleted and humbled squad from Boycott Amazon. Astonishingly, Patrick’s combined 2.6 pts from his WR corps was not quite enough to avoid a 1 way ticket to the toilet bowl where he will enter as the overwhelming favorite to lose at league worse 4-10 overall. Diego will advance to play Waller the Baller in the consolation semifinal.

83% Jam (7-6) v Dan (6-7) aka “Toucan Jam and the Banana Gang”

Dan is clutching to a 15.28 pt lead over Jam with 3 ravens still to take the field for Ravens r Best Bird tonight. Dan will need a complete offensive and defensive collapse from Baltimore to be able to hold on here. If Jam is able to pull out the win, he will move to face overwhelming favorite Nick and Too Many Cooks in the winners semifinal game.

TiL Playoffs - Week 1 Fun Facts

  • Travis Kelce is on pace to become the first TE EVER to lead the NFL in receiving yards.
  • Tom Brady has zero personal three-game losing streaks since October 2002, while the Bucs as a team have 25 in that span.