Monday Night Football - Fantasy Preview - Week 10

November 16, 2020

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Week 10 saw a points dry spell as the colder weather plus the chiefs being on bye left 7 teams scoring under 92 pts. 3 matchups are over, 1 is a long shot, and 2 are sitting dead even heading into MNF with a 52%-48% and 50%-50% respectively. Tonight is an NFC north battle with the Vikings coming to frigid Soldier Field in Chicago to do battle with the rabid Bears. If you saw your playoff chances dashed this past weekend, I encourage you to enjoy the game in its purest form tonight, thinking not of what if, but rather about how you can be a more productive member of society. File a patent, discover an element, or at the very least, disable your ad blocker when you visit


(3-5) Minnesota Vikings @ (5-4) Chicago Bears

  • 8:15 PM EST
  • Line: MIN -2.5


✅ Dan (4-5) v Patrick (3-6) aka “BroDown ThrowDown”

Dan, yet to discover the waiver budget feature this year, huffed and puffed and blew down the elaborate house of playoff cards that Patrick had been so delicately building thus far. A league high 40 moves, 3 blockbuster trades, and $93 waiver dollars earned him 87 pts and a fat L as all but one from the last chance u (suck) squad went for double digits in this one. Josh Jacobs returned to form en route to a 28 pt day and Marvin “Juppin Juniper” Jones Jr. delivered the betty crocker icing on the cake to dispatch the meek, virtuous robotripping herbologist by a margin of 43 pts - easily enough for this week’s BUILT FORD TOUGH - OUCHY OUCHY POWER THRASH.

Editors Note: Nice job Dan, could not think of a more deserving manager.

✅ Matt #1 (7-2) v Matt #2 (4-5) aka “How low can you go? Can you take it to the floor?”

Matt #1 has been experimenting with how low he can go each week while still securing the win, and the lower bound proved not yet to be reached this week against Matt #2. With a final score of 84-61 and only 8 pts on the bench, the future appears grim for Matt #2. However, rumor has it that Matt #2 was the best man at his brothers wedding this past weekend, so the case could be made that the 2xPOWER-THRASH ALUM is optimizing for something in life other than fantasy football, a foreign yet beguiling concept. With this win, Matt #1 keeps his 1 seed hopes very much alive, especially with Nick heading into a nail biter tonight.

✅ Hy (5-4) vs Alex (6-3) aka “Kyler Scurvy and the Dingbats”

Kyler Murray and Snuckles Knuckles took a team has no name behind the shed and did not relent with the belt until Alex hollered “ayyy PAPITO!” in this 10 point victory for the legions of Hy. Alex suffered from an ABYSMAL night from his star Davante Adams as he ONLY went for 8 catches for 66 yds and a TD in this one, over 15 pts off his 3 game trailing avg of 30.6 pts. There was not too much Alex could have done in this one as Hy etched this statement victory in soft shale, sprinkling the stone shavings up and down the petrified lukewarm corpse of the nameless one. Look for things to really heat up as Alex prepares to lose out the rest of the way here, and likely swear off fantasy football for at least half the offseason.

92% Keith (3-6) v Scott (3-6) aka “Combine Lifeline”

Keith leads by 3 and is starting Jimmy Graham, Adam Thielen, and the Chicago D tonight but NOT. SO. FAST. The Minnesota defense still stands in his way. This battle of 3-6 teams starving for a final shot at playoffs may appear to be a long shot… and it very much is… but look for Keith’s squad to pull a round 4 par 3 tiger woods at the masters to free up some room for Scott’s “Hot” Tots to make this one interesting. For reference, if you were to take Keith’s 3 starter’s season lows (2.3 + 4.2 + 1 = 7.5), the vikings would only need a 10.5 point outing to take home this W for Scott. Something they have done… 0 times this season. Good luck to all, and don’t let all this pomp and circumstance distract you from the fact that Scott played very close to the mathematically worst possible lineup with the exception of benching the washington D, scoring over 40 points below his optimal lineup.

52% Nick (7-2) vs Cam (4-5) aka “AINT NO TIME LIKE NALL TIME”

As the weeks have gone on, the Ws have rolled in, and the ego has continued to inflate, we have all watched our Mad King commissioner descend into a unbearable state of arrogance. This week, a beautiful thing happened as the league banded together in support, to help a young up and coming technologist navigate his online fantasy portal and successfully start a full team of players with a game this week to stand up to the bad man. Tears of joy were shed as Cam made the final roster moves and swapped out two starters that were on bye late sunday night for two powerful keepers of the kingdom in Ryan “who da hell is this guy” Nall and Darnell “not planning on punching any helmets” Mooney. To secure the W, those two will have to score within 2 pts of Dalvin “whoever owns this guy basically wins the league” Cook (averaging over 43pt/game the last 2). Ancestors protecccccct us. SPIRIT OF THE BOTTLE NOSE DOLPHIN

50% Jam (6-3) vs Diego (2-7) aka “Atticus Binch”

BYE GOLLY, WEVE GOT OURSELVES A DOODLE DANDY. It is our FIRST even 50/50 heading into MNF this year as Diego leads Jam but 2.5. Allen Robinson on Christian McDoubtful and Justin Jefferson on the Surley Men. This is your old fashioned saloon style duel where the two sides could end up trading punches all night. Winner takes all, and I mean all. I am talking all physical assets, future career prospects, love interests, pets or other imaginary friends, and of course, any precious heirlooms/stamp collections inherited from your great aunt Tessa. A win here would keep Diego’s extremely faint playoff chances alive and would prompt a cultish uprising from the leagues’ lower servant gypsy class - raising hell across the cobbles of Paris, aided by animatronic gargoyles dumping hot molten lead into the streets - hunchback of notre dame style.

TiL Week 10 Fun Fact

  • With a week 10 win, the Lions have surged ahead to a likelihood of making the playoffs of 7%

Week 10’s Betty Crocker’s Morsels - Food For Thought